When you are abandoned, you feel inadequate.
When you are abandoned by someone, it means that there is something wrong with you, right? Wrong. People change, and their needs and preferences change too. It is not a reproach to you if the person you were with feels that you are no longer meeting their needs.
She left you because of her needs, not because you were not good enough.
You think your world is no longer working
Believe it or not, when someone leaves you, your world still goes on. You still have to go to work, pay your bills, walk your dog, and brush your teeth. When you are abandoned, it can feel like your world has stopped and like nothing is working anymore.
Believe that others will leave you too
They left you, so others will leave you too; at least that’s what your fragile mind tries to tell you. Instead of openly trusting, you now view every relationship with suspicion. You may say that you want to protect yourself from being hurt again, but in reality, you are holding back out of fear.
You only see abandonment as something bad, as if it were the end of your world.
When you get abandoned, you may feel like your world has just ended. It’s Armageddon for your soul and heart, and you feel like curling up in a ball and crying.
What if, when you stop crying, you also see this tragedy as an opportunity? Your world has not changed or perished, it has merely shifted. You can choose to stay onboard the new life or create your own life.
Think backward instead of living forward
Your current relationship will not survive long if you get stuck in the past. It is nonsensical to constantly compare your current partner to your partner from years ago. You will only upset and embarrass your current partner.
Idolise or demonise your partner
Over time, the partner who left you becomes twisted in your mind. You see him as either Satan or a saint. You may gloss over all his faults and pretend that being abandoned by him is the greatest loss ever.
Or you make yourself the victim and justify being abandoned as something evil and the person who abandoned you like the devil himself. By doing this, you become a victim and deserve pity. Moreover, this gives you a convenient excuse to do nothing (the devil has taken away your power to act).
You do not have the strength to go on
When you are abandoned by your partner, it’s like your partner dies and leaves you all alone. You feel completely drained and feel that you can not go on.
If this continues in your new relationship, you condemn that relationship to carry a third person – your grief – wasting valuable time and energy. You will develop abandonment issues if you cannot move on for lack of energy.
Sharer by – MG